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So he’s got a good pedigree in the business, I guess. Afa & Sika got into the business first because they were rowdy huge marks at the Cow Palace who security had one hell of a time trying to keep them from killing the heels like Pat Patterson until Roy Shire got them into the business basically to send them away and save the heels in his business.” Hey, that isn’t the first time something like that happened.

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“ Anyway, he’s best known in wrestling for about ten years ago when the WWF was doing a TV taping in Rochester, NY, he wanted to be a pro wrestler and Hulk Hogan blew him off at the gym that day, so he went to the show and just as Hogan was going to wrestle One Man Gang, he hit the ring and took Gang down (he was a good high school wrestler) and was pounding on Gang and a panicked Slick was pounding on his back with his cane and it was having no effect. Wait, wait, first let’s cover Dave’s recollections of Roadblock from that week’s WON: DUD Ric Flair tries to save this by cutting a revved up promo about how he’s going to be in JJ’s corner at the PPV. When you can’t even get over in Mankato, Minnesota, you suck. Jarrett puts him down with a suplex and finishes with a figure-four at 1:30. Anyway, Studd chokes Jarrett and tosses him around, as his tiny T-Rex arm proportions creep me out.

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At that point they should have just jettisoned their stupid plan to replace Flair and turned Jarrett full heel. The fans did NOT want to see that as the payoff. Ric Flair joins us before the match (“He’s in his street clothes!” declares Tony, as Flair walks down wearing a $3000 suit), and then Flair demonstrates the proper way to strut and offers a handshake. Patrick again denies being the nWo referee, but doesn’t have any other awesome lines this week, sadly. Nick Patrick discusses the finish with Tony, and blames all the commotion on Teddy Long making a nuisance of himself. Well, you gotta keep Pittman strong, I guess? ½* DIAMOND CUTTER OUTTA NOWHERE finishes at 2:53.

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Pittman makes a comeback and works on the arm with the Code Red armbreaker, but Patrick continues his running argument with Teddy Long and doesn’t see it. Perhaps he just needs a major angle to get over the hump? Page pretty much squashes Pittman while Patrick steals the show by selling various phantom spinal injuries. Craig PittmanĭDP’s aimless year continues, which is really interesting because he was doing nothing storyline-wise for months but kept getting more and more over due to improving in the ring and getting the Diamond Cutter over as a killer move. Also, apparently Ferrier died last year, which is another one that I totally forgot about. Was he using a worked real name or something for all those years? Anyway, Malenko finishes him with a Cloverleaf at 6:40. I should also point out that the new gimmick is what appears to be a street-tagging youngster, which is hilarious because he’s what, 35 or 36 in 1996? Here’s some Observer weirdness, as Dave calls him “Jim Richland” aka Jimmy Del Ray aka Jimmy Backlund, like that’s his real name, but it’s not. The crowd is dead because no one has any idea who “Graffiti” is.

Malenko runs him into the corner to take over and Graffiti takes an awkward bump to the floor, and Malenko gets a chinlock. They trade some chain wrestling stuff and Jimmy gets a DDT for two out of that. He looks more like Champ Kind at this point, WHAMMY. Holy cow, Jimmy Del Ray without the pornstache is basically unrecognizable, and this was only two years after he left the WWF. Jericho pops up with a missile dropkick to finish at 7:14, however. Back in, Jericho hits him with REALLY stiff chops in the corner, basically slapping him in the face with them, but Eaton takes him down with a neckbreaker and goes up with a flying kneedrop for two. They head back to the floor with nothing still going on, and Jericho accidentally elbows the ringpost. Eaton takes over with a necksnap for two and goes to the arm. Jericho dropkicks him to the apron and follows with the springboard dropkick, and these guys are having all kinds of trouble getting it into gear. Jericho dominates with shoulderblocks to start, but Eaton takes over with a terrible looking powerslam that gets two. Wait, so what was the outcome of the Blueblood split? Eaton is just randomly repackaged back into himself and that’s it? We immediately take a break while Syxx poses in the audience with his stupid camcorder. Where the HELL is that? That sounds like the name of a fake Podunk town you’d make up to mock Global Force Wrestling’s attendance figures or something. The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.21.96